Conferencing too hard

We are deep into summer conference season, so let's talk about them.  

Often times it’s hard to figure out how to best spend your energy at a conference.  Senior person X might be giving a talk and so you don’t want to be seen missing it.  But maybe she gives terrible talks or you’ve seen it 4 times before and it’s never made sense?  Perhaps if you could understand it, you'd have have the key result you were missing to finish your thesis result.  Or you’re worried she’ll notice you’re not there and is going to think less of you!  On the other hand, you just saw hotshot postdoc Y skipping out on the talk and what if you could get an hour to talk with them?  You’re also almost done with a paper and your collaborator is there – it could be the best time to just knock out the last details while you’re in the same space as him.  You could just be really damn tired from the last 3 days of the conference and going to one more talk is going to drain you so you won’t be able to absorb more talks or go out with folks in the evening. 

For me, conferences can feel like a lot of what-ifs and things you don’t want to miss out on or do wrong.  I wanted to give my views in case their helpful.  I don’t speak for everyone here, but here are some thoughts from my observations/opinions.  Perhaps this list will evolve.

- Most importantly, everyone conferences differently, and that’s ok.  Some people can go to and learn from every talk, some really need to skip talks to recharge, etc.  Experiment and learn how you get the most out of a conference.  Try to challenge yourself a little – meet some new people, go to talks on things you don’t know as much about, etc - but you don’t need to be going full blast all the time.  For me, I have a lot of energy to talk to people but learn very little from talks (and usually fall asleep in them), so I skip a lot and find people to talk to during those periods.  It's ok to do whatever it is you need to avoid conference burnout!

- Most people don’t care if you are at their talk.  (This is especially the case if you’re a junior person.  On the other hand, sometimes junior people are really hoping that senior people will be in their talk, since it can be helpful for their career to advertise.)  In general, it's ok to skip some talks.  [I have a very different philosophy on your department's seminars.  I believe you should go to your group's seminar pretty much every time to facilitate local community, especially if the group is small.]

- Sometimes it can be hard to know what will / won’t be helpful for what you’re working on.  If you’re very early in your research career, it can be helpful to go over the talks with your advisor to find out what might be relevant.

- For me, talking to someone for an hour is way more valuable than going to a talk.  Try to make sure to have time/energy for talking to people outside of talks.  Seek out new people to learn from and if you’re nervous about approaching someone, send an e-mail and try to schedule some time with the person if you have specific things you want to discuss.

- If you get lost in a talk, it’s ok to take out your work and be productive.  (I think it’s a little bit more rude to be in the front row on your phone than in the back row typing up your latest idea.)

- I think this is from Cameron Gordon?  Write down the first three things you don’t know and look them up during the talk when you get lost or afterwards.  If you come up with a real question you can ask the speaker after their talk from this, I think that reflects better than just staring blankly for an hour and not knowing what they were talking about.

- It’s a bit unfortunate that it has to work this way, but a lot of things do happen outside of official math time: going out to meals/bars/other social activities.  This can be in the form of talking math or just general networking which leads to more conference/talk invitations, collaborations, etc.  (Math is not immune from networking, branding, marketing, etc.)  It’s not necessary to go to all of these things, but it can be beneficial to go to some.  Not all personalities or social desires mesh well, so it can be good to try to keep your radar out for the kinds of connections that work well for you.  (E.g. late night barhoppers, early morning runners, DEI advocates, nonstop math-ers, no-discussing-work-after-5PM-ers, etc.)

- In general, it's really hard to know what's going to be the best use of your time, and that certainly varies conference to conference.  Sometimes it's most valuable to avoid making yourself miserable and do what sounds best in the moment.  If a conference is really bumming you out, try to make space for something fun!

I do know there's very different views on how to approach conferences, so please comment below with any insights or views you have on conferences.  

I want to end this post with a more serious comment about conference participation.  There's a lot to be said about the importance of fostering a welcoming environment at conferences, but that needs to be its own post.  That said, there is one thing that is not explicitly stated as frequently as it should be (and applies more broadly in the math community).  Some people seek dating or partners through mathematics.  Some people are very friendly and outgoing in mathematics.  The latter aren't necessarily looking for the former and a number of these people (often women) are put in uncomfortable or problematic situations, such as unwanted advances, stalking, abusing a power dynamic, etc.  This can certainly be harassment.  Even at a bar or other social situation, this is still in the general professional environment of a conference.  It's important to think carefully and respectfully about how we interact with other participants.  Inappropriate conduct of this form is much more prevalent than it seems on the surface.